Poker Face

"You can't chose the cards you are dealt, but you can choose how you play them."

I put this quote up on my SmartBoard today as I shared some pretty upsetting news with my news with my students. Before I even told them that we were needing to cancel an upcoming performance and trip, I had them tell me what this quote meant in their own words. Here are just a few of their responses.

"Sometimes we can't choose what happens in our life, but we can chose how we react to it, both good and bad."

"We might not be able to control who comes into our lives and how they act, but we can choose our reactions towards them."

"Sometimes life can be hard and difficult, but how we react to situations determines our character."

"Life can suck. But we get up and make the most with what we have."

"You have to stay positive, even when it is really hard."

Out of the mouths of babes...

The Cards...

The cards we have been dealt with lately, well it is losing hand. Funds cut, non-sense legislation, talking heads that are not in our state but seem to be experts on our children and our education system, and the lack of respect for our profession as a whole. I went to college, I took the tests, and I paid all of the money, it is time that I'm treated as a professional for what I do, day in and day out. This is environment is hard and toxic. I don't do well in negative situations. I fall apart in negative environments. I will admit that lately I have allowed the cards that I have been dealt determine my attitude. My attitudes towards my faith, my family, my friends, my colleagues, my students, and my profession. I started to create more tension in an already toxic and hard environment. 

How To Play The Game...

This should not stop my passion for life. This poorly dealt hand does not determine who I am as an educator and as a person. Things are rough and hard but it all depends on what I do with circumstances that I have been dealt with. This does not stop me from doing amazing things in my classroom with my students. Despite the hand that we have all been dealt with in education, I'm inspired by educators that are going above and beyond the cards that they have been dealt and doing amazing things with their students. Yes sometimes life sucks, but we get up and make the most of it. We play the game to the best of our abilities. We create joy out of chaos. For the Love we just do the best that we can. 

For the Love...play your game and play it well.

Take Another Little Piece of Heart

This is all I have ever wanted to do. Being a teacher is what makes sense for me. I cannot even picture myself doing anything else but teaching. Most little girls played house, but I played school.

The reality is simple. My heart is breaking because of the current state of public education in Oklahoma. My heart breaks not over the instruction or love of children that I see my colleagues give day in and day out. My heart breaks because of the elected officials that are making terrible decisions that affect students.

SB 1187...then amended again...then amended one more time, passed the Senate and is on the way to the House. If this does not scare you, it should. Eliminating background checks for educators, eliminating the minimum teacher pay scale, health insurance requirements....it takes away everything. If stripping away everything is what makes school districts feel empowered, I want to know what dictionary the Oklahoma legislature is getting their definition of empowerment from.

Here is the kicker...75% of students will show mastery on EOIs or entire buildings can face mass firings. So you take away everything and demand students to do more with less. It doesn't make sense.  Not to mention the fact that the legislator is dragging their feet on approving the new Oklahoma English Language Arts Standards and Math Standards. Standards that were written by Oklahoma educators, that know what is best for Oklahoma students. I have read these standards, they are great and will be great for kids. Why would we not approve these?

A little piece of my heart is taken away when such terrible decisions are made that negatively effect students. We can change this, you see we have been given this amazing thing called the right to vote. We should be aware and we should be educated on what is happening. Plus we should go out of our way to thank those elected officials that are fighting for public education in Oklahoma! Below are the links to Oklahoma House and Senate websites. Please contact your elected officials, let them know how you feel.

We have so much power. I know that I can make my broken little educator's heart whole again, even when I email or call my elected officials and I don't get a response, I know that I did the right thing. I fought for my students. That makes my heart whole.

Oh...here is some Janis Joplin

Music in Our Schools

Happy Music in Our Schools Month!!!! Now I might be a little biased but I totally believe that music is the best subject in our schools. My life has been forever changed by having access to music education as a child. So much so that I have dedicated my life to providing music education to children.

We have heard the reasons for having music in our schools, many people like to point out that it raises test scores and kids in music programs have higher grades. While yes these are true and there is research to prove these things, music needs to be in our schools just because.

I'm beyond thankful for music in our schools for so many reasons, but here are just a few.

1. Music Classes Helped Me Choose My Profession-I have wanted to be teacher since my first day of kindergarten when I came home and organized my soft animals on my bed and taught them what I learned at school. However it wasn't until I was in middle school choir that I discovered that I wanted to teach middle school choir. It was in that class I discovered my passion and found my voice.

2. Music Classes Taught Me About Humanity-Music carries the full range of human emotions. Music makes me aware of what is happening around me. Music makes me believe that there is something better out there.

3. Music Classes Made Me A Better Me- I learned more than notes and rhythms on a page. I learned more than how to sing with good tone. I learned more than artistic expression. I learned how to be a better person. I learned about hard work and responsibility. I learned how to work with others. I learned how to take constructive feedback.

4. Music Classes Taught To Me To See Beauty In Everything-This world is dark. It is painful. But there is always music. Sometimes in the most painful moments of my life, music has been there. I have always been able to know that it would be there. In my music classes, I learned that my art not only changes myself, but it can change the world around me.

In the depths of this budge crisis and revenue failure here in my state of Oklahoma schools are having to make tough choices. My heart breaks when I see that those tough choices involve cutting Fine Arts programs. We need Fine Arts. We need music, not only just because of the reasons that I listed above but also because we need well rounded kids. I know that not every kid will love choir, band, strings, drama, art, or speech but I know that for the kids that do love them, they need these classes. They need these successes, and we need to offer them to all students.

So this month (and everyday really) thank the music teachers in your lives. So to my music teachers past and present, thank you. You are the greatest. Your influence is still so strong in my life.

Just Stop the Bleeding

Oh where oh where have my happy little unicorns gone?

When the news broke about the state of Oklahoma officials ordering $235 million dollar cut to state agencies after revenue failure number two, I might have had a brain aneurysm. An 18% cut overall to public education. Insert brain aneurysm here.

Can I just say, please stop the bleeding. Enough is enough. This has to stop. For the love, this needs to stop.

I am a product of public education. I truly believe in public education. I became a public educator, because I believe that public education will change the world. I believe in public schools. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am meant to be a public school educator. I love school. It is because of this love, my heart breaks and my brain has aneurysms when hear of more money being cut from public education. Because do you know who the victims are of budget cuts and revenue failures? Students. Children.

Oklahoma, I love you. I love the life I have built here. I love the friendships that I forged and the community that I have built with my students and my school. Now I'm asking for the same love.

If you love a child that is educated in public schools in Oklahoma, I beg of you to contact your elected officials and tell them enough is enough. It is time that the children of Oklahoma are put first. Being 49th in the country in teacher pay and per student spending is not okay, losing up $235 millions dollars in funding is not okay. We can make a difference. We can all make a difference. We have to stand up and ask that the bleeding stop. Our students deserve better, they are the future of this state and this country, and it is time that we make them a priority. The educators in Oklahoma are top notch. I truly believe that we can have the best schools in the country, but we need a legislator and a governor that is willing to make that commitment. Stand together Oklahoma, it is time to change the story. It is time to stop the bleeding.

I'm Not Okay

Things that I'm currently not okay with.......

1. The fact that I live in Oklahoma House District 98 and Oklahoma Senate District 33.

2. ESAs......oh wait I mean vouchers.

3. Holy crap the OCPA....ooops sorry for my foul mouthed ways.

4. Netflix removing Doctor Who.

5. The fact that I can't get wine ice cream in Oklahoma.

For the Love....these things are making me lose sleep at night, okay maybe not 4 and 5. Well...only every now and then.

I know what you are thinking, but Meghan where are your fun loving and happy unicorns. Right now they aren't so much happy unicorns as they are angry ones poking people with their glittery magic horns.

Let's start with number one....I live in Oklahoma House District 98 and Oklahoma Senate District 33. Currently both of these offices are held by two men that aren't exactly the best of friends to public education. I email these two almost weekly, and the majority of the time they don't respond. But when they do it is golden. After they rip apart about every part in my email they sign off with something like "Thanks for all you do...." or my personal favorite "Keep your head up, you do good things." Excuse me as I vomit.

My state Representative serves on the House Common Education committee, he is the one that introduce the bill to give us teacher pay raises that actually messed with our health insurance plans. Annnnndddddd with so many citizens speaking out against the bill he voted to send the lovely ESA bill out of committee. I'm over it. Both Representative Rogers and Senator Dahm are up for re-election this year, clearly things need to change. I'm not okay with them.

Number Two....ESAs...I'm not okay with this one at all. With overwhelming public support against this legislation, I honestly thought that I was going to die in committee, at least my unicorn and rainbow ways thought it would. But it was voted out of committee and sent to the main floor for the entire house to vote on. In order to get this bill out of committee they had to bring in the House leadership to break the committee tie vote, both of these leaders are term limited and won't be running again...frustration.

I have two major issues with these Educational Savings Accounts...I'm sorry I did it again they are vouchers. Issue number one: We should never use public dollars, tax payers public dollars to fund educational endeavors in private schools. We should be using that money to make our public schools the best in the nation. Our students deserve it, we as teachers deserve it, and our state deserves it.

Issue number two: money used from these ESAs go to private schools with no accountability. As a public school teacher I am held to high standards, as I should be considering the important work that I do, you know educating the future. With that comes accountability. I have no problem with accountability, we need it. However I am going to have to go through a Teacher Leader Effectiveness evaluation, my school has to go through the flawed A-F school evaluation model, and my students have to take the huge amount of High Stakes Testing that is given to them. It only makes since that private schools that are receiving public funding need to have the same accountability. Teachers in this state are already feeling beat up and devalued and this just makes it worse. I'm not okay with this.

3. Oh the OCPA, Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs...what can be said about this lovely little group. Nothing good. I'm just going to leave it at that. I'm not okay with them.

4 and 5. I'm just going to have to realize that some people just want to watch the world burn.

Fear not my friends, now that I have got all of that crazy off my chest, I will go back to the For the Love, happy unicorns and rainbows that you have all come to love or at least tolerate. Love your students and colleagues well this week, I challenge you to seek out one student that needs a little extra love and attention this week and try to make their week a little brighter! Now...I'm going to eat a donut and binge watch Gilmore Girls.

Thank You Harper Lee

I was a seventh grader when I first read the book To Kill A Mockingbird. Those words. This writing, changed my life. I have read and re-read this book too many to count. It is a part of me, it is who I am, the words are etched in my soul and heart.

As I sat at my desk for a brief moment today, fighting back tears has I heard the news about the loss of the book’s author Harper Lee. Thousands upon thousands of lives she touched and I wonder if she ever realized that her book would reach so many.

This story, this lesson of love, friendship, tolerance, and justice still ring true today. I think that we as educators see these lessons play out every day. As I think about quotes from this amazing book: we need them, we need to live them out daily. Things are hard. We are living in times that are full intolerance and injustice, not much has changed since those words were penned by Ms. Lee all those years ago.

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.

I know that we as educators try to get our students to understand this idea...but do we really live it out? Do I put myself in my students place? My colleagues? My students’ parents? My legislature(ouch)? How do we understand people? How do we really get to know each other?

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know that you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.

Courage. I teach middle school and conflict resolution for them often results in fighting and drama. I want my students to know that real courage is not using fighting words, physical violence, and going onto social media and bashing one another. Courage is when your back is against wall and you keep going. You keep fighting. You don’t stop. You see it through no matter what. Educators our backs are against wall. We are fighting uphill battles every single day, we keep going. We email and call those legislatures. We fight for schools in Oklahoma, we fight for our students, and we fight for each other. We see it through no matter what.

Things are never as bad as they seem.

This is the quote that I always have the hardest time with, sometimes things are hard and they are bad. But…...I get to teach kids how to sing. How to find beauty in the world. This is what I have wanted since I came from school on the first day of kindergarten and put my stuff animals on my bed and played teacher. When things just seem hopeless, when I feel beaten, defeated, undervalued, and unimportant...Things are never as bad as they seem. Oh teachers, things are never as bad as they seem. We are doing such good. Such important good.

Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's garden, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird.

I would be a bad music teacher if I didn't include this one. Music is beauty. Music is life.

Now...I’m going to go read To Kill A Mockingbird for the the millionth time. Thank you for making the world a better place Harper Lee.

What Is Your Song?

Today I wrapped up a unit on musical theater with my Fine Arts class today. Today they shared with me their favorites songs and moments from their favorite musicals. One girl shared "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" from The Wizard of Oz. 

This is just one of my favorite songs ever, I remember the first time I heard, I was only five but I remember in that moment I thought that singing would be really cool and I wanted to do that too. It became my song.

I think so much of my life is defined my certain songs during certain periods of my life. More than anything I want my students to discover a song that defines their lives or at least moments in their lives.

I felt like today that rediscovered Somewhere Over the Rainbow for the first time. That is what I love most about music. How healing, how powerful, how magical it can be. Sometimes it is hard for me to wrap around my head that this is what I get to do everyday, showing middle school kids that they can find "their song" their Somewhere Over the Rainbow. But I get to do this. Holy Smokes. I get to do this.  When kids find their song, they find their voice. They find how to use their voice in a dark world to make the biggest difference.

Educators, what is "your song?" What is "our song?" We are in a unique moment in the history of education in our state. What song is defining this moment? What song is keeping you going? What song gives you your voice?

"If happy little bluebirds fly, beyond the rainbow. Why can't I?" 

Why can't I make a difference? Why not me? Whatever is beyond the rainbow, the longing of this heart is just to change the world. One middle school singer at a time.