For those that are only here for commentary on education or for some education policy, bare with me. You won't get that in this post, but maybe you will get my heart or the heart of for the love.
I'm a hot mess. Y'all, such a big giant huge hot mess. I mean did leave my underwear on the floor of the QuikTrip gas station. I have had strawberries on my ceiling from blender with no lid moment, and I have more than once started to make coffee with my Keurig and not have a coffee cup in place.
I have embraced all of these qualities about myself. All the quirky and oddball things about things. I have embraced them and loved them. I have prayed over it, and Jesus has blessed it. I'm sure He even laughs at me when I leave my undies on the floor of a QT or have coffee spilling all over my counter.
But there are parts of my life I haven't embraced. Parts that I struggle with, parts that I look in the mirror and I see a broken, and incomplete woman.
I am not enough.
I am not effective enough.
I am not smart enough.
I am not talented enough.
I am not blogger superhero enough.
I am not enough.
I have always struggled with these things. This is nothing new for me. I have had these struggles for years. FOR YEARS.
I have allowed these "not enoughs" in my life to affect every part of my life. Every relationship, every encounter, every job, and every fiber of my soul. These "not enoughs" have held me back and I have kept me from becoming the woman God I want to be, the daughter I want to be, the sister I want to be, the friend I want to be, the writer I want to be, and the teacher I want to be. I believed the lies I told myself.
Then others started to say I wasn't enough. Their deep cutting words, cut into the already bleeding wounds of the "not enoughs" that I had already built up in my head. Here is the thing about how we think about ourselves. We eventually start to believe and live out the lies that our mind tells us every day. I want to fight back against my "not enoughs" and embrace them like I have embraced my hot mess. But here is the thing, and lean in close. My "not enoughs" and your "not enoughs" are meant to be overcome, not embraced.
Yesterday my senior pastor, Craig Groeschel, preached on those not enough moments in our lives, and I loved how he stated it perfectly.
God Loves You Deeply.
Good Values You Highly.
God Provides For You Fully.
God Planned You Carefully.
I am effective enough.
I am smart enough.
I am talented enough.
I am blogger superhero enough.
My life is messy, but it is my embraceable messy. Those "not enoughs" they don't get to be a part of them. They don't get to speak power over my life anymore, and those that keep the lies going don't get to be a part of my life either.
What mess do you have that needs to be embraced? What "not enoughs" do you need to let go of? Be every ounce of your beautiful messy you! Let's sit in the mess together; there might be donuts.