Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Swipe Right? Swipe Left?

Being a single woman in the 21st century can be difficult, but hey online dating and dating apps make everything better! Between Bumble and Tinder, it has never been easier to get those Saturday night plans in the works. it all comes down to a swipe right or swipe left. Not that I know how any of this works...

In my experience with online dating, happy I admitted that did that; there are four different types of guys you will meet online. They are all terrible.

Guy number one, we will call him Sathan Sahm or Mr. Hello Are You Out There. You craft the best message. This message perfectly describes who you are and what you do. You are passionate, witty, and so educated in your words. Message sent and...nothing. Not a reply. Not a single hello, how are you today graces your inbox. Then you realize how much of a waste of time it was to send that email. Let’s add a little salt to that wound, you see on social media that he is still alive and making quite the name for himself, but he can’t respond your email. Boy Bye. I got better things to do with my life.

Guy number two, we will call him Myle Shameless or the Insta-boyfriend. You go out on one little date and all of sudden he knows what is best for you. He is planning what you wear to work, what you eat, what you should be doing at your job, how you should do your job, how much you workout, the budget for your wedding, when you can buy that perfect house, and how many kids you will have-you are having five via all natural births with no drugs. Of course, you know the only reason you went on this date in the first place was that money was tight and you wanted a free meal and some wine. (Side note: I freely admit to have done this before.) But he knows what is best for you and no matter what he will make sure you know what. Again...Boy Bye. I got better things to do with my life.

Guy number three, we will call him Tosh Brickin, or Colonel Not-So-Serious. He appears that he could be the serious relationship and what you are looking for in a man.Then you get to know him a little bit more, and you find that he is a total goofball with no substance. However, he has no clue that he is a total goofball with no substance. Again with the Beyonce...Boy Bye. I got better things to do with my life.

Guy number four, the worst kind. We will call Tan Mirby or Mr. Hey Baby Do You Wanna. With this guy one simple “Hello, how are you?’” the message gets a steamy reply of all the sexual encounters that he wants to have you. Bro, I don’t even know you. Not today Satan, in fact not ever! Boy Bye.

I can’t quite think of any guys worse than the ones I just described. Now I know you all like, Meghan, I know your blog is called For the Love, but isn't this blog about education and education policy in Oklahoma? Did I not just describe some members of the Oklahoma State Legislature? Why yes I did! I told you there would be a connection! Just remember when in doubt, swipe left.

No comments:

Post a Comment