I can't even sugar coat this one. Sorry. Everyone has something or even someone that they are afraid of, including children. As a little girl I was scared of thunderstorms, which is a problem if you grew up in Arkansas like myself. I hated storms, when it would storm I would throw the covers over my head and squeeze my Teddy Bear tightly till it passed over. As an adult my fear of thunderstorms has gone away but I still hold on to a few childhood fears like spiders those aren't going away time soon. But there is one fear that has developed as an adult. It has held me back and has had a pretty big grip on my life. I have a fear of failure. Fear that I will work hard towards a goal and falling flat on my face at the end. Fear that I will let others down when I'm not successful. Fear that I will fail my students. It has such a tight hold on my life. Because of this fear I put an insane about of pressure on myself in order to be successful. I found that I was letting my fear control my life. Then I stumbled across this Bible Verse, "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8
In this verse Moses is talking to Joshua. Moses led the people of Israel out of Egypt, and was taking them to the Promise Land. But through a series of other events, Moses was no longer going to lead God's chosen people into the Promise Land, instead Joshua was going to be leading Israel. I don't know about you but I feel like Moses would be a tough act to follow. The guy did part the Red Sea. Moses spoke these words to Joshua. That phrase, the Lord who goes before you, friends how amazing is that?!? God is before us, next to us, and behind us, we are covered. I need to replace my fear with trust. Trust that God goes before me. Rachael Myers, a writer and blogger with She Reads Truth, says it like this, "If I do trust God, then I have nothing to fear and I have every reason for joy." I have every reason for joy.
So this brings me to what I'm currently doing to face my fear of failure...Kodaly Music Training. I will blog about the specifics of Kodaly at a later time, but I can tell you this, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It is stretching me and growing me. This is taking me out of my comfort zones and causing me to face this fear of failure head on. I'm so excited about how this training will effect my teaching. I'm already learning so much. Is it hard? Yes. Do I want to put my head through a wall? Yes. But I'm trusting in God. Leaving fear behind and knowing I have every reason for joy.
By the way ladies if you need great Bible Reading Plans, She Reads Truth is amazing!