Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Loved People, Heal People

When I first started writing on For the Love, the original focus was never education advocacy and policy, it just kind of turned out that way. I don't regret ever making the shift to that simply because I saw a need and I felt that I had a unique voice that could be added to the mix of already amazingly talented #oklaed bloggers.

My original intent of starting this blog was to tell my story, my journey in how I built relationships with others. I have always felt that my strength was building people up and making them feel loved. This is something that has been on my heart for weeks and something that someone out there in the world needs. 

Hurt People, Hurt People

I don't know how many times I have read that phrase, have had someone say it to me, or I have even said it myself. There are hurting people around us all the time. I would even venture to say that as educators, we might have more hurting people around us than most. I know that sitting on my choral risers are kids that are in pain, and carry deep hurt. They lash out, they misbehave, some of them retreat within themselves, and others just put on a smile and continue with their day. I can't even begin to understand what some of those kids go through on the daily. My job as an educator is not only to teach them notes and rhythms on a page, the right tone, and vowel shaping but to show them how they can heal their hurt with those things. 

Hurting people sometimes don't even know that they are hurting. Hurting people sometimes aren't aware that they are hurting others. Let me tell ya, loving a hurting person is so damn hard. Why? Because one of two things happen, that person will accept your love and begin to heal themselves and relationships around them, or what is sometimes the most common, they will continue to hurt you, others, and themselves and at that point, you just have to walk away. 

Loved People, Love People

I love people, or at least I try to love all people. I have been very open, honest, raw, and transparent on For the Love over the past three months. This has not been easy. Sharing my soul, with others has been hard. I have been hurt a lot, by hurting people. I won't go into details because that is when gossip starts and more damage happens, but I have spent hours in tears. I have spent days questioning everything that I believe. I have had moments that I thought about walking away from this blog because I was being hurt by it. Hurt people, hurt people, but oh friends may we never lose sight of the fact that loved people, love people. I would even venture to say that loved people, heal people. 

Loved People, Heal People

I could be so easy to continue in a cycle of hurt. That if you have been hurt to continue to hurt others. But what lessons do we learn in that, how do we heal brokenness if we continue to hurt and cause harm to others. The answer is we can't. The easy road to take would be for me to harbor feelings of ill will and hate towards those that hurt, and I will admit that there have been times in the past few months that I have wished ill will on those that hurt me. However, I made a choice to take the more difficult path. Forgiveness and moving on. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you want and need that person in your everyday life, in many cases it means moving on with your life so you can continue to love others. Sometimes and especially with students when we love them, when we accept them for the glorious, beautiful mess that they are, we heal them. We heal the hurt, and they are no longer hurt people, but they are healed people that then become loved people. It is beautiful when it happens. We break that cycle of hurt that is running rampant in our society today.

But then sometimes, we have to walk away. Those times are the hardest and scariest. Those are the times that we just don't know how we move forward. This weekend I made the decision to love those that have hurt me, hurt my family, hurt my friends, and even hurt my students, but I decieded that forgiving them also meant walking away. I could have choosen to continue to hate, but I choose to love instead. For the love, wouldn't it be great if everyone could do the same? 

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