I'm Not Okay

Things that I'm currently not okay with.......

1. The fact that I live in Oklahoma House District 98 and Oklahoma Senate District 33.

2. ESAs......oh wait I mean vouchers.

3. Holy crap the OCPA....ooops sorry for my foul mouthed ways.

4. Netflix removing Doctor Who.

5. The fact that I can't get wine ice cream in Oklahoma.

For the Love....these things are making me lose sleep at night, okay maybe not 4 and 5. Well...only every now and then.

I know what you are thinking, but Meghan where are your fun loving and happy unicorns. Right now they aren't so much happy unicorns as they are angry ones poking people with their glittery magic horns.

Let's start with number one....I live in Oklahoma House District 98 and Oklahoma Senate District 33. Currently both of these offices are held by two men that aren't exactly the best of friends to public education. I email these two almost weekly, and the majority of the time they don't respond. But when they do it is golden. After they rip apart about every part in my email they sign off with something like "Thanks for all you do...." or my personal favorite "Keep your head up, you do good things." Excuse me as I vomit.

My state Representative serves on the House Common Education committee, he is the one that introduce the bill to give us teacher pay raises that actually messed with our health insurance plans. Annnnndddddd with so many citizens speaking out against the bill he voted to send the lovely ESA bill out of committee. I'm over it. Both Representative Rogers and Senator Dahm are up for re-election this year, clearly things need to change. I'm not okay with them.

Number Two....ESAs...I'm not okay with this one at all. With overwhelming public support against this legislation, I honestly thought that I was going to die in committee, at least my unicorn and rainbow ways thought it would. But it was voted out of committee and sent to the main floor for the entire house to vote on. In order to get this bill out of committee they had to bring in the House leadership to break the committee tie vote, both of these leaders are term limited and won't be running again...frustration.

I have two major issues with these Educational Savings Accounts...I'm sorry I did it again they are vouchers. Issue number one: We should never use public dollars, tax payers public dollars to fund educational endeavors in private schools. We should be using that money to make our public schools the best in the nation. Our students deserve it, we as teachers deserve it, and our state deserves it.

Issue number two: money used from these ESAs go to private schools with no accountability. As a public school teacher I am held to high standards, as I should be considering the important work that I do, you know educating the future. With that comes accountability. I have no problem with accountability, we need it. However I am going to have to go through a Teacher Leader Effectiveness evaluation, my school has to go through the flawed A-F school evaluation model, and my students have to take the huge amount of High Stakes Testing that is given to them. It only makes since that private schools that are receiving public funding need to have the same accountability. Teachers in this state are already feeling beat up and devalued and this just makes it worse. I'm not okay with this.

3. Oh the OCPA, Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs...what can be said about this lovely little group. Nothing good. I'm just going to leave it at that. I'm not okay with them.

4 and 5. I'm just going to have to realize that some people just want to watch the world burn.

Fear not my friends, now that I have got all of that crazy off my chest, I will go back to the For the Love, happy unicorns and rainbows that you have all come to love or at least tolerate. Love your students and colleagues well this week, I challenge you to seek out one student that needs a little extra love and attention this week and try to make their week a little brighter! Now...I'm going to eat a donut and binge watch Gilmore Girls.

Thank You Harper Lee

I was a seventh grader when I first read the book To Kill A Mockingbird. Those words. This writing, changed my life. I have read and re-read this book too many to count. It is a part of me, it is who I am, the words are etched in my soul and heart.

As I sat at my desk for a brief moment today, fighting back tears has I heard the news about the loss of the book’s author Harper Lee. Thousands upon thousands of lives she touched and I wonder if she ever realized that her book would reach so many.

This story, this lesson of love, friendship, tolerance, and justice still ring true today. I think that we as educators see these lessons play out every day. As I think about quotes from this amazing book: we need them, we need to live them out daily. Things are hard. We are living in times that are full intolerance and injustice, not much has changed since those words were penned by Ms. Lee all those years ago.

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.

I know that we as educators try to get our students to understand this idea...but do we really live it out? Do I put myself in my students place? My colleagues? My students’ parents? My legislature(ouch)? How do we understand people? How do we really get to know each other?

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know that you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.

Courage. I teach middle school and conflict resolution for them often results in fighting and drama. I want my students to know that real courage is not using fighting words, physical violence, and going onto social media and bashing one another. Courage is when your back is against wall and you keep going. You keep fighting. You don’t stop. You see it through no matter what. Educators our backs are against wall. We are fighting uphill battles every single day, we keep going. We email and call those legislatures. We fight for schools in Oklahoma, we fight for our students, and we fight for each other. We see it through no matter what.

Things are never as bad as they seem.

This is the quote that I always have the hardest time with, sometimes things are hard and they are bad. But…...I get to teach kids how to sing. How to find beauty in the world. This is what I have wanted since I came from school on the first day of kindergarten and put my stuff animals on my bed and played teacher. When things just seem hopeless, when I feel beaten, defeated, undervalued, and unimportant...Things are never as bad as they seem. Oh teachers, things are never as bad as they seem. We are doing such good. Such important good.

Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's garden, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird.

I would be a bad music teacher if I didn't include this one. Music is beauty. Music is life.

Now...I’m going to go read To Kill A Mockingbird for the the millionth time. Thank you for making the world a better place Harper Lee.

5 4 3 2 1

I love a good blogging challenge! Thanks for getting me writing again, it has been awhile!!

What has been your ONE biggest struggle during this school year?

1. This school year I have struggled with taking care of me. I love my job, I love my students, and I love my fellow teachers. I spend so much time caring for others and pouring into others that I forget to care for myself. I know the importance of taking care of me, but I feel guilty when I take that time to focus on me. 

Share TWO accomplishments that you are proud of from this school year.

1. After 5 years of teaching and trying and crying....I finally had students make the OCDA All State Mixed Choir! I finally found a system of teaching and working that will ensure student success at that competitive level.

2. The other accomplishment I'm proud of is how I have developed a sense of community with my students within my choral program and classroom. I love seeing the friendships that have developed among my students, including seeing students love and mentor those that just need a little extra help. 

What are THREE things you wish to accomplish before the end of the school year?

1. Survive contest season, and continue to thrive and impact lives! February is hard for middle choir teachers. 

2. Be a better mentor. I want to reach out to other teachers and find ways to help them help their students. I want to help every teacher find the resources needed to reach their students!

3. Move this blog over to stand alone website. This is a "what if it fails" in my mind. This blog has been my one of my greatest joys. I want to develop this into a site that teachers, especially music teachers, can find resources and inspiration for their classrooms. And just think of all the unicorns and rainbows I can share!!

Give FOUR reasons why you remain in education in today's rough culture.

1. Because every child deserves access to quality music education. Every child deserves to know the beauty and wonder of music. Every child deserves to know how music can change their world.

2. Because every child needs to know that they have a champion. Because they need to know that some one loves them, even if I might be the only person that tells them.

3. I love singing and I love showing kiddos how to do it.

4. Where else do I get paid (not enough, but whatevs) to jump up and down, sing songs, and play games with some of the coolest kids on the earth.

Which FIVE people do you hope will the take the challenge of answering these questions.

1. Ashley Bowser-My assistant principal rock star super hero. I would just love to hear his thoughts!!

2. Jen Williams-Because she has dark and twisty unicorns and rainbows.

3. Kas Nelson-Because she is just so much fun!!

4. Peter Anderson-Because this guy is super legit. 

5. Megan Morgan-We have similar names and similar souls. 

Reason for Despair. But Even Bigger Reasons for Hope

2015 is gone and 2016 is here!!!!!

Recently this article was published by The Atlantic entitled Can Schools Be Fixed?, all of this shows some inidividuals feelings of despair and feelings of hope. Fellow #oklaed blogger, Rob Miller, from View From the Edge issued a blogging challenging to all the #oklaed bloggers to create our own reason for despair and reason for hope. I might have broken the rules and included more than one reason for hope, because you know unicorns. Thank you Rob for this challenge, I'm looking forward to seeing what this year will hold for all of us!!

Reason for Despair

My reason for despair is a number. 49. That is currently where Oklahoma ranks in education spending per student and in teacher pay. That number has lead to a whole hosts of other issues. The biggest being the largest teacher shortage crisis that the state has ever faced. Why does this number bring me so much despair? Because of the sheer amount of people that are okay with this number, those that are okay with being ranked so close to dead last. It is not okay. It will never be okay. If you have been paying attention to the news recently you will hear and see stories surrounding the mid year budget failure, more money and more resources being cut from public education. The victims of this number 49. Every single one of us. Every single citizen of Oklahoma. How did this happen? How did we let this happen? What are we doing to fix it? What is our legislature doing to fix it? This number. This piece of information just makes me sad. 

Reasons for Hope

I wouldn't be the unicorns and rainbows blogger that I am if I didn't believe in hope. I have hope and lots of it! I still believe and firmly believe that education can change the world!

My first and biggest reason for hope is another number. 140. That is the number of students that walk into my classroom everyday. They are not data points on a chart, but they are some of the brightest young musicians on the face of the earth. They make me a better person. Each day I have the greatest privilege in the world of waking up and teaching them. More than that I get to teach how to sing. Singing and making music is how I cope with this messed up world. I get to do this. I get to share what I love with middle school students. I tell my students everyday, that they have a song to sing, and it is my job to help make their song better. The world deserves to hear their song. No matter what, I'm impacting their lives. When I look at my students I see hope. I see a group of young teenagers poised to change the world. I firmly believe that when we teach students to see the beauty in the world and ultimately how they can make the world beautiful. We win. Everyone wins. 

My second reason for hope, I work with some of the most amazing educators on the planet. The team of teachers, administration, counselors, and support staff assembled at my school work day in and day out to do what is best for kids. I am constantly amazed by the things that go on in the classrooms of my co-workers. When I hear students say they love their teachers and they love their school, it gives me hope. Some of my closest and most meaningful friendships I have right now in my life are my colleagues. Their love and care over my life is overwhelmly beautiful. They give me hope. I work with the most caring, compassionate, loving, bold, generous, and out of the box thinkers out there. 

My third reason for hope. Educators in Oklahoma. Over the past four to five years I have been blown away by caliber of teachers that I have met in this state. Each Sunday night I am challenged through the #oklaed Twitter chats, I am encouraged by these educators, and I am deeply grateful for their love and devotion to the students that they serve. They are brave, They are bold, They fight every single day to make things better for their students and for teachers across the state. As a music educator, I am a part of two organizations that have connected me with other music educators. We do not get to see each other all the time, but when we do we are able to share, grow, and make each other better. We are in this together. 

My fourth reason for hope. Donuts. That's all. 

There are uphill battles ahead. They will be hard. They will stretch us. I will admit that there are reasons for us to have despair. There are reasons for us to be concerned, worried, outraged, and even a little scared. But...there is hope. There is always hope. There are always unicorns and rainbows. If you are involved in education, share your story. Tell the world. You have a song of hope to sing, and the world deserves to hear it.