Dear Oklahoma....again.

Dear Oklahoma House of Representatives and Senate,

Hello, it’s me Meghan, the For the Love girl. Some you know and love me, and others well you know me.

One year ago I wrote to you asking what you would do address to the looming revenue failure and the educational funding crisis. Here I am again, doing the same thing. I was super nice and sweet in that letter.

To spend money, you have to make money. If tax cuts, slashing agency budgets, borrowing and borrowing some more, and other totally terrible options didn’t work, why are you still doing it? As a Choral Music Educator, when something doesn’t go right, and my students sing wrong pitches and rhythms, do I let them move on? No! We fix it. I look for the root of the problem, and I address it. After I address it, I put a plan in place to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Guess what, it happened again. You didn’t fix the problem. We are in a revenue failure again.

Everyone is feeling the cuts; there is no denying this fact. School districts are being cut $11.1 million dollars. What does that mean for me? Well for my school district that means roughly $10.09 less per student, I teach in one of the largest school districts in the state. For the love, you knew this was coming, and you did nothing.

By all means, let’s keep writing voucher bills that take away more money from public education and absolute nonsense bills that would get shot down by the Supreme Court in a heartbeat instead of focusing on finding actual and workable solutions to the problem.

Seriously, it is time for you to nut up or shut up. I was nice in my first letter to you, but not so much anymore. The people of Oklahoma sent you to the State House with a job to do, and it is time for you to do that job. Don’t let it be May and the week before the session is over before you pass a workable and common sense budget. If not, I don’t think the people of Oklahoma will be as forgiving this time around. Or at least I don't think they will, they re-elected most of you wackadoodles.

With Unicorns and Glittery Rainbows,

Meghan

P.S. OCPA-Come at me bro.

Swipe Right? Swipe Left?

Being a single woman in the 21st century can be difficult, but hey online dating and dating apps make everything better! Between Bumble and Tinder, it has never been easier to get those Saturday night plans in the works. it all comes down to a swipe right or swipe left. Not that I know how any of this works...

In my experience with online dating, happy I admitted that did that; there are four different types of guys you will meet online. They are all terrible.

Guy number one, we will call him Sathan Sahm or Mr. Hello Are You Out There. You craft the best message. This message perfectly describes who you are and what you do. You are passionate, witty, and so educated in your words. Message sent and...nothing. Not a reply. Not a single hello, how are you today graces your inbox. Then you realize how much of a waste of time it was to send that email. Let’s add a little salt to that wound, you see on social media that he is still alive and making quite the name for himself, but he can’t respond your email. Boy Bye. I got better things to do with my life.

Guy number two, we will call him Myle Shameless or the Insta-boyfriend. You go out on one little date and all of sudden he knows what is best for you. He is planning what you wear to work, what you eat, what you should be doing at your job, how you should do your job, how much you workout, the budget for your wedding, when you can buy that perfect house, and how many kids you will have-you are having five via all natural births with no drugs. Of course, you know the only reason you went on this date in the first place was that money was tight and you wanted a free meal and some wine. (Side note: I freely admit to have done this before.) But he knows what is best for you and no matter what he will make sure you know what. Again...Boy Bye. I got better things to do with my life.

Guy number three, we will call him Tosh Brickin, or Colonel Not-So-Serious. He appears that he could be the serious relationship and what you are looking for in a man.Then you get to know him a little bit more, and you find that he is a total goofball with no substance. However, he has no clue that he is a total goofball with no substance. Again with the Beyonce...Boy Bye. I got better things to do with my life.

Guy number four, the worst kind. We will call Tan Mirby or Mr. Hey Baby Do You Wanna. With this guy one simple “Hello, how are you?’” the message gets a steamy reply of all the sexual encounters that he wants to have you. Bro, I don’t even know you. Not today Satan, in fact not ever! Boy Bye.

I can’t quite think of any guys worse than the ones I just described. Now I know you all like, Meghan, I know your blog is called For the Love, but isn't this blog about education and education policy in Oklahoma? Did I not just describe some members of the Oklahoma State Legislature? Why yes I did! I told you there would be a connection! Just remember when in doubt, swipe left.

Not Lived In Vain

One of my biggest passions in life is education. I love guiding students through the world of choral music and watching them explore all that it has to offer. In my short six-year teaching career the past two years have been revolutionized by my training in the Kodaly method of teaching music. I have blogged twice about my Kodaly training, and you can read about my Level I and Level II experiences.

Now I could totally nerd out start talking solfege and how to teach concepts within the sequence for hours, or days, or months. Okay fine I’m a Kodaly nerd, and I have no problem admitting it. However since the confirmation of a particular Secretary of Education, a quote of Zolton’s Kodaly has been in my mind for days.

It is our firm conviction that mankind will live happier when it has learned to live with music more worthily. Whoever works to this end, one way or another has not lived in vain.

For the love, excuse me as I ugly cry.

This is a huge time of confusion and uncertainty for educators across America, but to my fellow music teachers, this truth is for you. What you do day in and day out is not in vain. You do more than teaching notes and rhythms on a page; you show beauty, artistry, passion, dedication, and hard work. What you do matters so very much. You are doing this with more kids and less funding and support. This is not in vain; you are making mankind happier. Keep making mankind happier. Hold on to this truth, and don’t forget it.

To all educators out there, Zolton Kodaly was fiercely in love with his beloved country of Hungary. He was teaching and promoting the will of the Hungarian people during WWII when it was Nazi-occupied and during the Soviet takeover. He held on the truth that educating all people was the key to Hungary being free one day. I can’t even begin to imagine what he felt during this time. I can even venture to say that he must have felt that this was the hardest time to be an educator. I wonder how many in America are feeling this right now. Kodaly fought against the powers that be in the most amazing way; he fought back by teaching children how to sing. He fought back by surrounding himself with the best educators that sought to do the best for children. He fought back with music education for all, not just the wealthy elite. He didn’t live in vain. And guess what neither are you. You are not living in vain. You are changing so many lives. Keep fighting. Keep loving kids. Keep holding those in power accountable. Eat donuts. Believe in unicorns. Don’t stop being awesome. We will survive this chapter, and we won’t go down without a fight.

Past, Future, and Present

I am drowning. I am overwhelmed. I am the most ineffective educator on the planet right now. Those words and those thoughts have plagued me for the past four months. This school year has been so rough and so difficult for many different reasons, but nonetheless, it has been the most emotionally and physically draining thing I have ever experienced. I love teaching, and I love teaching middle school kids how to sing, and this is all I have ever wanted to do. However, there were moments that I just wanted to walk away and never look back.

What have I found out? I’m not the only educator feeling this right now. Hello, we are in a battle for our very profession. We are calling Senators left and right begging them to do the right thing and vote no for a Secretary of Education that has never even taught or attended a public school. We have to defend ourselves and our profession daily. No wonder we are tired. No wonder we have nothing left to give. We pour our heart and souls into the lives of our students and then we have to turn around and defend what we do. It is heartbreaking.

Not to mention that these days we seem to demand more and more from our students, not because we want too, but because we have to for the sake of progress. All the while we forget that they are just kids. Case in point, no eight-year old should ever be stressed about a test ever.

The past two weeks have been the worst in my teaching career. I have worked crazy long hours, and then I come home and cry over it. I cry because I’m killing my own of love music, and if I’m killing my love of music what am I doing to my students? How terrible does that make me? I have allowed my emotional needs and hurt negatively impact my students. I want to build a positive culture, and I have done nothing of the sorts.

Then my college professor posted this on Facebook. Dr. Lilite is one of the most important educators in my life. Who I am today is a direct reflection of the time and energy that he put into making me a great singer and a great educator. These were the words that my heart and my soul were so needing to hear.

Go to your past-I have wanted to be a middle school choir teacher since I was a middle school choir student. I was never the worst student ever, but school was a struggle. The choir was my outlet, my safe place, and where I felt the most successful. As I grew older, I realized I that I was called to do the same for kids that my middle school choir teacher did for me. My past helps my present.

Go to your future-The future of public education is up in the air. I am scared for my students, my colleagues, and my profession that I love. However, this will not stop me from making my voice heard. This won’t stop me from continually doing the right thing and seeking others to do the same.

Go to your present- To my students: I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you haven’t had the best of me. I’m sorry that I have stretched myself so thin that I have done the same to you. I want you to love music; I want to see how beautiful and life-changing it can be. I don’t want you ever to be stressed about it. I’m sorry that I have done this to you. To my colleagues: I’m sorry that I allowed my burn out to effect our mission to effect our goal. I will seek beauty, I will seek goodness, and I will seek happiness. I will allow only joy. I maybe crazy busy, but I will allow my busy life to be a source of joy for others. But I won’t let my health and sanity go by the wayside.

I believe that there is hope in public education and my teaching because that is all I have left to hold onto.

Rewards and Thuggery

What exactly is suffering for my reward? Is it the little pay? Is it the daily demeaning of my profession that I see all the time? Is the lack of respect for myself and my colleagues?

In regards to my question about pay, my loan providers or landlord could give a flying flip about my heavenly reward; they want my money now.

Just this week alone I was told that gem of a statement above and one of my favorite #oklaed bloggers and blogging mentors was called a thug and denied entrance to a public event over school choice.

If you know Rick Cobb you are aware that the first thing that comes to mind is a thug. I mean look at how he is showing off the fact that he is shoe twinning with a bunch of kindergarteners. Seriously such a thug. The nerve of that guy.

I’m over the whole “this is just the way it has been.” Excuse me as I vomit. I am a professional. My friends are professionals. We are doing our best to provide ALL KNOWLEDGE to all students while not being flushed with cash. I’m over the fact that I have to accept the status quo, don’t tell me my reward is in heaven. Don’t thank for my service. Show me. Stand up for education. Be willing to lose a donor to your re-election campaign when it is clearly the will of the people not to have a particular person running the US Department of Education. I will never stop advocating for public education, and I will never stop advocating for the betterment of my students. I will keep emailing you, I will keep calling you, I will keep writing you letters, and I will keep holding you accountable.

Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go frolic on my unicorn farm with Celine Dion music playing in the background and paint glittery rainbows on my face.

Loveless Professional Development 101

This is my "I'm not amused face."

For the Love! So, I said I wasn’t going to write any more political posts...but then State Senator Kyle Loveless goes and does this….

http://webserver1.lsb.state.ok.us/cf_pdf/2017-18%20INT/SB/SB20%20INT.PDF

If you don’t want to look through the bill itself, the short version of this requires teacher training on “grooming” and appropriate behavior with students.

Finally! After all of those years of asking for meaningful Professional Development, it is happening! Just what I have always wanted: Professional Development over how to have proper relationships with students.

Like what the what? At the beginning of each school year, in districts across the state of Oklahoma, we are required to watch a series of videos and take quizzes over those videos. Those videos range in topics from child abuse and neglect to sexual harassment, from bullying to how to avoid slipping on a puddle of water. These training videos are time-consuming, and yes, some of them are necessary. Call me crazy, but it seems to me that not having inappropriate relationships with my students and grooming is common knowledge. But, by all means, if you think that will fix the teacher shortage in this state, Senator Loveless, have at it.

The idea that he feels we need additional training on how to not have sexual and inappropriate relations is a slap in the face. To have that level of questioning when it comes to teaching is outrageous. I’m not stupid. I’m not a gross sicko. I’m a great teacher, and I should be respected for that. And how much would this new training cost the state or school districts? Who is going to pay for it? Let’s put forth legislation that will provide the training and professional development we need and we want. That would be money well spent. Or...teacher pay raises. *Cough Cough*

I’m curious, what exactly is his idea of “good” grooming? Because if it involves washing my hair every day, we are going to have a problem. Dry shampoo is a girl’s best friend. Oh wait….that is not the grooming he is talking about.

Scores

As educators, we are all familiar with standardized tests and the stakes that come with them. Even though in the state that I teach in some of the high stakes has been taken out of standardized testing, however, its presence is still made known.

We spend hours pouring over those scores, breaking it down by objective, comparing its previous year's data, and then go further and break it down kid by kid, by IEP students, ELL students, Economically disadvantaged, and so on and so on. To improve and move forward with our instruction, yes we need to do these things, and I can I tell you how excited I am that my contest scores aren’t viewed in that matter!

But in a conversation with my friend Anthony Purcell (follow him on Twitter, just do it), he proposed the question, what if we looked at music contest scores the same way we look at standardized test scores.

The majority of choral contests have the two elements, a prepared stage portion, and a sight reading portion. For the prepared stage portion, each choir prepares two songs of contrasting styles, and one of those songs has to be unaccompanied, that is performed for a panel of three judges. These judges have a list of musical and choral elements each group performance is rated on that scale. Each judge gives the choir an overall rating of Superior, Excellent, Average, Below Average, and Unsatisfactory. My students and I start preparing the music we will perform for this contest starting in November and contest is in February, but the prep work starts the day they first walk into my classroom. So months and months of hard work is boiled down to 5-8 minutes of a performance heard by three very highly qualified judges who have never heard our choir perform. Then after you go through that you have sight reading, in that portion of the contest we are given a short piece of music that we have never seen before and we three minutes to learn it and then sing it for a judge. We get two chances at that. It isn’t easy, and sight reading contest preparation starts in August. You can get the same rating of Superior, Excellent, Average, Below Average, and Unsatisfactory.

Yes with my contest scores I do get judges comments and feedback, and that is by far the most valuable part of that judging sheet. But what by far makes the contest so vastly different from standardized testing is the subjectivity behind. All of the judges I have encountered have always rated my choirs fairly and according to our skill set and level, but let’s say that my choir sings at the beginning of the day as opposed at the end of the day. Or my choir full of seventh graders follows a choir full of ninth graders. Or my choir performs before the judges go to lunch and it has been a marathon of judging. All of these things are factors to contribute to the overall performance. Again all of the judges in my experience are highly professional and do their best to ensure that they do their job effectively. However the truth is this, the judges are hearing and seeing a three-minute performance of a five-month long process. They can only judge the performance; they can’t judge the process. Sometimes factors beyond our control effect what happen: your best sight reader and leader of the alto section wakes up with 102 degree fever and misses the performance, your bass section goes from 15 to 7 after a chunk of them end up on the eligibility list because of their grades in Math, or you could have a section that can’t find the Do (solfege syllables for those of you who don’t know) to have their lives in sight reading even though you know that they can do it.  

So now seeing and understanding the background behind the contest, let’s say you are sitting in a faculty meeting and your administration pulls out the test scores for last year and includes your choir, band, orchestra, one act plays, and speech and debate contest results as well. How do you interpret that as a school? As a faculty? Do you even understand the context of what the results and the feedback? I would wager to say that you might only understand the score sheet in front of you truly if you have some music training or music degree. Would my scores that are suddenly in front of you come with an audio recording of our performance? Because it would be very difficult to understand those scores and feedback without hearing the actual performance. Here’s the kicker, isn’t music supposed to be a beautiful art form opened to listener interpretation, so shouldn’t that factor into what you are reading. Because how many people looking at those score sheets and comment cards would understand what they are saying. I know that would be terrified if my contest scores and comments were just laid out for all to look at and them and interpret them as they will. What you won’t find on that comment card or that score sheet is the real reason I go to contest. Not for a score, not for some judges to tell us how amazing we were (because we are), but for the purpose that it makes my students better musicians and it makes them better people. Going to contest teaches my students about hard work, courage, and dedication. Sharing your craft with anyone can be scary. Sharing your craft when you an awkward and hormone filled middle schooler is even scarier.

So to the ELA, Math, Science, US History, and Geography teachers out there, this is what it is like for me when I have to sit and look at your test scores. I don’t know what I’m looking at and I can’t even begin to imagine what you are feeling when you see an entire year of teaching summed up it a few numbers on a page. So if see me looking confused or looking like I don’t care, that is far from the truth, I do care, and I want to be supportive because you see they are all our kids and we only what the best for them and to see them succeed. Our teaching is not defined by numbers on a page and what data points our students reach, our teaching should always be driven by what is best for the child and impacting their lives beyond the classroom. When we do these things we will see those numbers go up, but more importantly we will see the lives of children improve.